The Insanity Of Chaos
by LotteSCF
Summary: Crack fic / humor. 11 21-year olds return to their 11 year old bodies, determined to stop Voldemorts reign of terror, while having as much chaos and insanity as possible. Hogwarts better watch out, or it'll be driven insane by the end of the first year.


**The Insanity Of Chaos**

**Chapter 1**

"We are going to have some fun," Harry grinned – a grin that was matched by his friends Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Susan Bones, the Patil twins, Lavender Brown, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini.

There were now 21 years old and the only resistance left against Voldemort and his cronies; so they decided to go back to the night of the sorting of their first Hogwarts year. Whilst making sure to put a stop to Voldemort, they had also decided to have a little fun (well, chaos would be more accurate), starting with the houses they were sorted in. Draco had already decided to go into Huffelpuff, while Ron and Hermione had decided on Slytherin (they could easily hold their own against any who didn't like this and tried to hex them). The others were keeping quiet on their choices, especially Harry (who had the most devious plan). The people from the past were in for a surprise.

-X-X-

They stood amongst the other (unsuspecting) first years, acting the same as they did the first time in order to keep the surprise alive. They were fetched by McGonagall and entered the Great Hall, where they suddenly tore loose from the real first years and formed their own little tight group. After the song, the sorting began (it started with a few real first years before the time travelers were up).

"Lavender Brown," Minerva aka Minnie called and Lav grinned at the others as they gave her the thumbs up (the rest of the Great Hall was still unsuspecting, poor sods) as she went up to the stage to put on the hat. All was quiet in the hall for several minutes when the hat, sounding very disgruntled, called out, "Ravenclaw!"

"Yeah!" Lavender whooped with joy, much to the amusement of everyone, and once of the stage proceeded to do cartwheels until she arrived at her table, under cheers of her fellow 11 year old time travelers.

The next traveler to be sorted was Susan Bones, who ended up in Gryffindor and went to her table singing 'The Look' by Roxette (at this point people were beginning to question the sanity of several of the first years).

"Hermione Granger!" Minnie called out, slightly frazzled. People stared in shock when the '11' year old muggleborn was sorted into Slytherin (under the cheers of the other travelers) and screamed, "Booyah! I'm the Queen of the world!" Followed by the other travelers screaming, "All hail Queen Granger!"

There was an incredibly long silence after this (even Dumbledore was speechless) before Minnie continued.

Neville Longbottom was sorted into Gryffindor and promptly kissed Susan long and hard on the lips, ignoring the catcalls from his friends and the shocked exclamations from some of the teachers.

When Draco Malfoy was sorted into Huffelpuff and hugged Minnie, several people (including Snape) fainted and had to be revived by the teachers. Padma Patil was sorted into Slytherin while Parvati was sorted into Ravenclaw. Padma did a slightly provocative dance, while Parvati proceeded to explain the meaning of S&amp;M until she lost 50 points (making sure Ravenclaw was in the red before they could even start earning points). Pansy Parkinson was then sorted into Gryffindor, screaming, "Take that you Slytherin bitches!". She lost 15 points.

Then came the moment everyone had been waiting for; the sorting of Harry James Potter. By now everyone was on edge because this had been the strangest sorting in Hogwarts History. Harry swaggered up to the stage and put the hat on, sending a smirk to Severus who glowered at him. When after a long while nothing happened, Albus asked the hat what was taking so long. The hat simply replied that this was a most difficult sorting, while in reality the hat and Harry were exchanging jokes. Eventually the hat shouted out, "Hogwarts' 4 houses!", much to the shock of everyone. Harry winked at Dumbledore, then went to join his friends in the Slytherin house, who were trying to keep from bursting out with laughter as they saw the shocked looks upon everyone's faces.

Ronald Weasley was then also sorted into Slytherin (the Weasley twins actually fainted), muttering about how he'd one day rule the world, while grinning evilly and rubbing his hands together, again shocking people even more.

Blaise Zabini was the last to be sorted and she also went into Huffelpuff, but not before making a short statement. "I'd just like everyone to know that I plan to be a sex Goddess when I grow up and I'll love everyone who asks, because nothing is more important than love… and sex… and chocolate… and goldfish… but mostly love." Off course silence once more followed the peculiar statement.

The rest of the evening proceeded relatively normal, if you ignored the fact that the 11 travelers burst into song and dance during dessert, singing the Humptey Dumptey song.

-X-X-

"Well, that was certainly an unusual sorting," Albus said later that night in the teachers lounge. Severus once more fainted, still overwhelmed by the fact that his godson was a Huffelpuff. The other teachers simply sat in shocked silence, unsure of what the future would be, and also, if they were completely honest, slightly scared.

-X-X-

Later that night, unbeknownst to anyone else, the 11 travelers met up in the Room of Requirement to discuss their upcoming 'plans'. Hogwarts would come to curse the day these 11 came here.

-X-X-

Breakfast had started half an hour earlier, and everyone was in the Great Hall, where Harry was sitting with Draco and Blaise, talking loudly about the teachers when Harry made a show of looking straight at Quirrel, then shrieking loudly (and with the aid of some magic made blood flow from his scar), and pointing at Quirrel, screaming, "Voldemort!" At this scream, the other travelers followed this performance by each sending a first year spell (with much more strength behind it) at the man; he was unconscious when the last spell hit him.

"He's hiding Voldemort under his turban!" Harry screamed, sending nearly the entire school into a panicked frenzy. Harry and the others calmly sat back down and enjoyed their breakfast.

An hour later, aurors had come and taken away Quirrel/Voldemort and all was peaceful once more (at least somewhat). Classes were cancelled for the day – the travelers went off singing and dancing.

-X-X-

"Those kids are not normal Albus, I tell you," Flitwick squeaked later that day. For once Albus could not find it in him to defend the 'helpless' students.

-X-X-

"Maybe we should lay low for a while?" Harry mused later in the RoR. They all looked at each other… "NAH!"

Let the games begin…


End file.
